i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
