Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Did you pee in the oven last night??
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
