she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
