if i can run in heels then i can drive
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
