This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
