So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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