So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I wish I only lived at night.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
