i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
