I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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