Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
