Little spoons don't ask big questions
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
No subtext here. People are naked.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
