tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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