I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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