Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
