I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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