You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
They should really pass out barf bags in church
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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