he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
