Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
