So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
