are you still at the devil's house?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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