bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
