a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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