I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
