I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
