I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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