Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
