Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
