he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
