when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
