so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
