you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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