Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
