he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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