Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
