What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
