turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
