There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
