it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
