who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
