We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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