Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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