Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
