Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Nicole vs. Life
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
