she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Damn victory sex feels great
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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