I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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