Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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