im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I'm at about main and main street
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
