I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
and she was petting her beer can
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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