I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
