the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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