we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
