Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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