very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You're a waste of cheezeits
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
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