fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm jealous of your bromance
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
