It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
