She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Randomize