i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
