it was like having sex with a tree stump
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize