i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
