Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize