the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
